Ethics and Morality of Today’s Adolescent

Recently, I did a parent seminar at our church on the ethics and morality of today’s teenagers. In illustrating what we are up against, I showed this clip from the movie Saved.

It is near the end of the movie when the boy who got Mary (Jena Malone) tried to save convert from homosexuality resulting in her pregnancy, and all his friends from Mercy House “interrupt” prom. Pastor Skip (Martin Donovan) tries to kick the group out because what the boy and his friends have done is “not cool in the eyes of God”. The pastor’s son, Patrick (Patrick Fugit), tries to get his dad to stop. His dad says that the situation is not a gray area to which Patrick responds, “Dad, it’s all a gray area.” The dad retorts, “The Bible is black and white!”

There is so much more to the clip, but you will have to see it yourself (track 18). But I think this is a great clip and really encapsulates the postmodern ethic of today’s teenagers and it’s direct conflict with a modern belief. In my seminar, I discussed th landscape in which our teens are growing up in. The landscape contributing to the ethics and morality of adolescents includes teens filtering their ethics through self-protection and self-interest, adult hypocrisy, technology, and valued ethics that are different than our own (namely adults).

Then I laid out three responses, and this is where I want some feedback:

Response #1 Modeling

Before we can be appalled at the ethics of todays teenager, we must first be willing to look into the mirror ourselves. We need to relocate our own consciences. Kids need to see a healthy display of ethical standards in adults; ones we are willing to live by ourselves. What is the difference between an adult calling in “sick” on a beautiful, sunny day, and a kid copying his/her friend’s homework? Shane Claiborne in his book Jesus For President talks about the idea of trying to teach peacemaking when all we see in the world around us is war and revenge in dealing with our problems?

Response #2 Redefine Success

I think one of the biggest contributors to the apparent lax attitudes towards ethics is because teenagers today are simply trying to survive. (For more on this ideal of “survival”, check out the post I wrote on today’s postmodern family). Busy parents are trying to raise busy kids whose lives and schedule are strewn throughout classrooms, athletic fields, vehicles, and sometimes more than one household. Given the pressure and cost to succeed, can we really be surprised that students are lying, cheating, and stealing to try and get ahead?

I wonder if we (in the church) need to get away from the capitalist idea of success based on upward mobility, and begin to explore Jesus’ way of downward mobility in which he says to take up our cross? I wonder if we need to teach (and demonstrate) that economic success is not in how much we make, but rather in how much we “sell our possessions and follow him”? And what does that look like today?

Response #3 Teach Discernment

Rather than teaching students a “just follow the rules” mentality when it comes to ethics, we need to begin to take kids seriously and teach them the idea of discernment? Students today need to not just be able to ask questions, but to ask the “right” questions. There is a seismic shift going on from the modern to the postmodern mindset: Things are no longer “black and white”. The world today is too messy and complicated for a simple “just-do-it-because-it’s-right” attitude. Discernment ultimately comes from a deeper understanding of God, and helping them make decisions based on their relationships with God and other, rather than the rules.

• What are some other responses we need to have towards teenagers as they develop their ethics and morality?
• How do we maintain the truths of God in this “gray world”? In other words, how can we keep the integrity of God and his “commands” without turning towards relativism?