A couple of weeks ago, I did a seminar to a room full of middle school and high school parents talking about the “postmodern family”. The data was collected from my Family Ministry class taught by Dr. Chap Clark at Fuller Theological Seminary. It created a lot of discussion, but more than anything else, I think that it opened the eyes of many of the parents in the room. It also helped put to words the observations of the world today as it relates to the family unit.

The seminar began by giving a brief overview of how the postmodern movement emerged, and followed with how it has effected our definition of family. Much has changed in the recent years. Fifteen years ago family was defined by blood; now family is defined by anyone who defines themselves as a “family” is a family. Along with this changing definition of family, we examined the changes from 50 years ago to men, women, and kids within the family: 1. Roles/Expectations; 2) Values; and 3) Lifestyles.

This week, we will examine the Roles/Expectations of men, women, and children 50 years ago versus today…

ROLES/EXPECTATIONS

For Women:

  • In the 1950’s, women were seen as the “nurturer”. They were the ones who cared for the family, and lived under clear, non-negotiable guidelines of being a good wife.
  • Today, women are seen as “co-earners” with women making up 51% of the workforce. Interestingly, although women are seen as co-earners, they still maintain the role of primary nurturer in the family. This has led to women today being more stressed out and depressed than ever before.

For Men:

  • 50 years ago, men were the “protector/provider” for the family
  • Today, men have no idea what is their role or expectations in the family. This has a tremendous effect especially on Christian men because the church has come up with a theological construct of men being the “protector/provider”, therefore, men today do not have a role model of what a man’s role truly is.

For Kids:

  • In the 1950’s, kids were “safe to explore life”. Adults and communities had the sole purpose in mind of helping the child discover their true identity.
  • Today, the role/expectation of kids is that they are “abandoned” by adults and adult systems originally set in place to help kids. (This concept is explored in-depth in the book called Hurt: Inside the World of Today’s Teenagers by Dr. Chap Clark)

What is your experience? Does this line up with what you see in families today? Is this description accurate across all demographics?

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